First things first.

I have opinions on a lot of things. Today, it's Christmas music.

I love Christmas music. I hate quite a lot of the Christmas music out there. Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. Here's my first and foremost rule (unless I tell you about something else that seems more important at the time).

How to do it right:

• The underlying message of your song is "Yeah, this is fun, right?"
• The underlying message of your song is "Yeah, Jesus."

I'm agnostic, but I'll happily embrace the latter option. (Hey, some of my best friends, you know?) So if your performance evokes one or the other of those, or both, we're good. But.

How to do it wrong:

• The underlying message of your song is "HEY, CHECK ME OUT!"

Lookin' at you, Neil Diamond. Try to convince me that your "Cherry Cherry Christmas" nonsense is meant to provoke any reaction other than "Wow, that guy done a bunch of songs I know!"

Try. No, really try. Bet you can't.

 

This year I'd like to start as I often do... with a Christmas tune that isn't really a Christmas tune, but it's from a Christmas TV special, only this particular version is from a Thanksgiving special. (Very well then, I contradict myself.) Vince Guaraldi, known for his Charlie Brown tunes, took a familiar motif and put a little mo' teef to it. And a horn section. Ladies and gents...

Linus and Lucy and the Band.